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This fall, Covid walks have been an important part of my day. They have included family chats, conversations with friends, brainstorms with colleagues, podcasts, nature photography and sometimes simply my own flurry of thoughts on the state of the world.
During these walks, the fresh air rejuvenates me while my steps accumulate. Amidst colder temperatures recently, I have found myself visualizing images of my childhood self comfortable in the snow mounds and angels of Chicago 1979. We can take advantage of the outdoors at all ages, but there seems to be growing awareness that this winter may impinge on outdoor social connections and require further adaptation in the months ahead.
In Life Is In The Transitions, Bruce Feiler discusses that life is filled with transitions; he calculates there are an average of three to five lifequakes and three dozen disruptors in the course of a lifetime, averaging one every twelve to eighteen months. He defines a disruptor as “an event or experience that interrupts the everyday flow of one’s life” and categorizes these into areas of love, work, identity, body, and beliefs. Covid has been a collective transition that has required resilience the past several months. Here are a few ways to support yourself as we move forward:
Honor your grief process. Continue to acknowledge losses and disappointments. We may be grieving losses from earlier in the pandemic or new losses. These can include loss of family members, food security, structured routines, social networks, control, school, traditions, work environments, extracurriculars, freedom, and more. Melissa Sellevaag of the Wendt Center for Loss and Healing explains that the grief we are experiencing around Covid can be complicated by the “collective” nature of it. Many within our community are mourning some degree of loss so that reserves in our support systems may feel stretched currently. In addition to the time you are giving children or aging parents, be sure to give yourself healthy space to reflect on your own grief.
Help others and yourself. Finding ways to continue to connect to peers, loved ones, and the larger community is crucial. Leveraging support systems and accessing networks of friends, family, colleagues, coaches, teachers, and community leaders in person with appropriate public health measures or virtually this winter gives all ages the connectedness we crave in our new schedules. In his new book Finding Meaning, world-renowned grief expert David Kessler proposes meaning as the sixth stage of grief after denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Doing service together as a family not only provides connection to the larger community but can also be a source of meaning. Contactless food and clothing drives, making sewn and non-sewn masks, and virtual tutoring are just a few of the ways to participate in physically distant service. Research shows that altruistic acts not only benefit the recipients of the acts but are also beneficial to the well-being of the givers.
Habits of gratitude. Find moments to be intentional about cultivating gratitude. There is space within us to hold different emotions at the same time. We can be thankful for aspects of our current day and yet also grieve losses we are experiencing. Martin Seligman, the founding father of Positive Psychology, and researchers from the University of Pennsylvania asked people to write down three things they were grateful for. “The three things need not be earthshaking in importance,” he explains in his book Flourish. When people did this for one week, happiness was increased and depressive symptoms were decreased for up to six months.
Hugs. This winter hugs may feel good to your heart in more ways than one. Research shows that hugs are related to higher levels of oxytocin, a hormone secreted by the pituitary gland, and associated with lower blood pressure and lower norepinephrine, the primary neurotransmitter of the cardiovascular system. Squeeze in as many 20 second hugs as you can get because not only do they feel good, they may also be cardioprotective through their effects on blood pressure and the sympathetic nervous system.
Health. Use this winter to set some small, achievable healthy goals for yourself. Reframe the next 3 months as an opportunity to do something positive for your health. A regular exercise routine will not only give you a number of physical benefits, but the release of endorphins will also benefit your mood. Replace your “commute” with a walk or workout routine. Be consistent and keep it simple. In a cross-sectional study of more than 3,000 adults, participants who were physically active pre-Covid showed a reduction of physical activity by one-third during Covid. Not being physically active during Covid was associated with worse mental health. It is important as we head into the winter to plan a routine that will work to keep you moving. Find the best time and space, and do what you can. While on the phone, get up from your chair and walk around. Insert in a yoga stretch between Zoom calls. Explore apps, YouTube channels, virtual studio classes. Use jump ropes, soup can weights or simply your own body to squat and plank. Invite a few friends who give you positive energy to join your wellness accountability group, connect to set collective goals, and record weekly totals to keep yourself and your team inspired.
5 Ways to Support Yourself This Winter | Psychology Today
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I write articles based on my experience as a therapist or a training or conference attendee. Many of these articles are written by others who are experts in their field and I share their information as resources for others.