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November 30th, 2020

11/30/2020

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​5 Ways to Deal with Caregiving Stress During COVID New report reveals caregiver stress at crisis levels during COVID-19 Pandemic

From Psychology Today

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-psychology-aging/202011/5-ways-deal-caregiving-stress-during-covid


By Regina Koepp, PsyD, ABPP


Last week, I met with a stressed out and burned out caregiver. Before the Coronavirus Pandemic, the care recipient (the husband) had a home health aide 3 days a week and attended an adult day program 5 days a week. These resources helped his wife (the caregiver) to continue to work to support them, prepare for retirement,  and have a break from caregiving.

​Since the Coronavirus Pandemic started, the husband’s adult day program has closed, and the caregiver opted not to have the health aide come to their home due to her concerns about COVID exposure.  As a result, the caregiver was experiencing lots of stress and overwhelm trying to figure out how to work and caregive full-time.  

​This caregiver is not alone. A national survey published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in August 2020, found that 32.9% of caregivers reported mental health problems like anxiety, depression, or substance use compared to 6.3% of non-caregivers.

This same study found that 30.7% of caregivers of older adults had the highest rates of suicidal thoughts- much higher than other high risk groups like essential workers (21.7%), young adults ages 18-24 (25.5%), Hispanics/LatinX folks (18.6%) and African American/Black folks (15.1%).

Family caregivers during COVID are more stressed and overwhelmed than ever before and here are some reasons why:

        Approximately 61% of caregivers are employed while caregiving. 
       Many resources that caregivers rely on, like senior centers and adult day programs,               have been for several months.

      Caregivers may not be comfortable with home health aides coming into the home                for fear of exposure to COVID, so have cancelled home health aide assistance, and as a        result are providing many of the more challenging tasks, like toileting, grooming,                  bathing, etc. 

      With changes in routines and social interaction being limited, the care recipient is                more likely to decline in mental and physical health. 

      People who require caregiving are likely to have medical vulnerabilities, increasing              their susceptibility to COVID. Naturally, this comes with a host of anxiety, fear, and                uncertainty related to COVID exposure.

All together, this means that caregivers have more caregiving tasks, more stress and worry, fewer community resources needed to care for their loved one, and don’t have the breaks from caregiving that are essential to maintaining health and wellness. 5 Self-Care Strategies for Caregiving During COVID

1. Identify what gets in your way of taking care of yourself. Take some time to acknowledge the most common obstacles to your self-care. The most common barrier I hear is:
       “I don’t have time”
      “my loved one needs all my time”

While this may be true, often when I ask caregivers to look a little deeper, we discover other barriers like:
     "I feel guilty taking time to enjoy myself when my loved one cannot"  
     "Other people might think that I’m shirking my responsibilities or being selfish if I                 make time for myself"

After you identify your own unique barriers to self-care, think of how these barriers or beliefs originated, for example: Were you raised to put others before yourself?  Were you raised to hold a certain level of “duty” to your family? 

2. Shift how you think about self-care Not only is taking better care of yourself important, so too, is how you think about taking the time for yourself. Shift from the old way of thinking to a new way of thinking. For example:

Instead of saying: "I can’t take a walk, my mom needs me. And if I'm honest, I feel guilty getting outside on this beautiful day when my mom is stuck inside."

Try saying: "Taking a walk for myself now will give me some time to be alone and decompress, which will lower my stress. My mom will sense that my mood has changed and benefit from my taking care of myself."

3. Set goals for taking better care of yourself Rate how well you are taking care of yourself in each of these categories. Use the scale 0 = poorly to 5 = outstanding to rate how well you are taking care of yourself Sleep. Are you getting enough sleep? Rate yourself between 0 to 5.

Eating habits. Are you getting adequate nutrition? Rate yourself between 0 to 5.

Exercise/Fitness. Are you getting enough exercise? Rate yourself between 0 to 5.

Medical and mental health appointments. Do you put off your mental health or medical appointments or prioritize them? Rate yourself between 0 to 5.

Substance Use. Are you drinking more than you used to? Rate yourself between 0 to 5. 

Now, select the category that stands out to you most and identify one way that you could start to take better care of yourself in this area.

For example: Substance Use. I've been drinking a bottle of wine a night, I am going to cut down to 1 glass. Sleep. I've been going to bed too late, I’m going to get in bed an hour earlier. 

4. Set yourself up for success.  Imagine what moving toward your self-care goal looks like, identify any problems, then troubleshoot the steps to eliminating or moving past the problems. For example:

Category: Substance Use

Goal: Drink one glass of wine per night (instead of one bottle)

Potential Problem: When you see a bottle of wine sitting on the counter, you're tempted to keep pouring until the bottle is empty

Solution: Pour a glass of wine, put the cork back on, and put the bottle all the way in the back of the fridge and place other objects in front of it. The more distance  and obstacles you put in front of the bottle of wine, the less likely you are to go through the trouble of getting it out again.

Category: Sleep

Goal: Go to bed an hour earlier at night. 

Potential Problem: You get busy watching a TV show or doing a hobby and forget about the time.

Solution: Set an alarm on your phone for 30min before your desired bedtime to remind you to start getting ready for bed  

5. Ask for help.  With many of the formal caregiving supports unavailable, it's essential to build an informal care team by asking your friends, family, neighbors, church family/friends, and health aides for help  

​Asking for help is really hard for caregivers to do. It can help to remind yourself that you're worth it. Your health is just as important as the care recipient’s. 

This is a very painful time, please take care of yourself. If you or someone you know is in crisis or struggling with thoughts about harming yourself or others, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

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Acknowledge Suffering

11/16/2020

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We’re usually aware of our own suffering, which – broadly defined – includes the whole range of physical and mental discomfort, from mild headache or anxiety to the agony of bone cancer or the anguish of losing a child. (Certainly, there is more to life than suffering, including great joy and fulfillment; that said, we’ll sustain a single focus here.)


But seeing the suffering in others: that’s not so common. All the news and pictures of disaster, murder, and grief that bombard us each day can ironically numb us to suffering in our own country and across the planet. Close to home, it’s easy to tune out or simply miss the stress and strain, unease and anger, in the people we work, live – even sleep – with.


This creates problems for others, of course. Often what matters most to another person is that someone bears witness to his or her suffering, that someone just really gets it; it’s a wound and a sorrow when this doesn’t happen. And at the practical level, if their suffering goes unnoticed, they’re unlikely to get help.


Plus, not seeing suffering harms you as well. You miss information about the nature of life, miss chances to have your heart opened, miss learning what your impact on others might be.  Small issues that could have been resolved early on grow until they blow up. People don’t like having their pain overlooked, so they’re more likely to over-react, or be uncharitable toward you when you’re the one having a hard time. Wars and troubles that seemed so distant come rippling across our own borders; to paraphrase John Donne, if we don’t heed the faraway tolling of the bell for others, it will eventually come tolling for thee and me.


How?
This week look at faces – at work, walking down the street, in the mall, across the dinner table. Notice the weariness, the bracing against life, the wariness, irritability, and tension. Sense the suffering behind the words. Feel in your body what it would be like for you to have the life of the other person.


Be careful not to be overwhelmed. Take this in small doses, even a few seconds at a time. If it helps, recall some of the happy truths of life, or the sense of being with people who love you. Know that there are ten thousand causes upstream of each person leading to this present moment: so much complexity, so hard to blame a single factor.


And then open up again to the suffering around you. To a child who feels like an afterthought, a worker who fears a layoff, a couple caught up in anger. Don’t glide over faces on the evening news, see the suffering in the eyes looking back at you.
Watch and listen to those closest to you. What’s hurting over there? Face it, even if you have to admit that you are one of its causes. If appropriate, ask some questions, and talk about the answers.


How does it feel to open to suffering? You could find that it brings you closer to others, and that there is more kindness coming back your way. You could feel more grounded in the truth of things, particularly in how it is for the people around you.
Take heart. Opening to suffering is one of the bravest things a person can do.

​https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-wise-brain/202011/acknowledge-suffering

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5 Ways Technology Can Help Seniors Stay Social During COVID

11/5/2020

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Photo by Pexels
 
Almost 30 percent of Americans 65 and older (that’s about 11 million people) live alone, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. On top of that, the COVID-19 pandemic has forced many of these seniors to retreat even further away from their loved ones, making an already challenging situation that much worse.
 
Social isolation in seniors has a serious impact on their mental health—and can lead to some pretty devastating physical ailments, as well. Even though the pandemic is keeping many of us physically apart, seniors can use technology to stay connected to friends and family. Here’s how.
 
Get comfortable with your devices
Handheld devices like tablets and smartphones are as common as wearing clothes these days. While some seniors may feel intimidated by this kind of technology, there are many free online tutorials to get you set up. You can get great deals on laptops and tablets every day, but especially if you shop deals. Don’t forget to look into webcams, headphones and other digital communication devices.
 
Play games that boost your memory
Communicating with loved ones is an easy and effective way to stave off memory issues and cognitive decline in seniors. But with fewer opportunities to connect in person, people over 65 will want to explore new ways of stimulating their minds online. Not only can you chat with other people playing online games, but the games themselves will boost your brain. Some of the highest rated apps for seniors, like Luminosity and CogniFit Brain Fitness, have free options and trials.
 
Make money in retirement
Many seniors stave off social isolation by working a bit in retirement. The global pandemic has changed the American workforce, and seniors may feel too overwhelmed to find ways to participate. You can improve confidence and self-esteem by earning a certificate or license in a self-paced online program. Many of these also offer discussion forums for people to connect on group work and all kinds of topics. Seniors can then apply for telecommute part-time positions with their new-found skills. Having meaningful work that connects you to others can help reduce depression, lethargy and feelings of hopelessness.
 
Get active for physical and mental health
Exercise in some form is good for everyone, but especially seniors. Not only can it help battle arthritis and heart disease, but it can also improve your mood and reduce stress. With tensions running high these days, seniors can make exercise a part of their daily routine by joining live virtual yoga and workout classes. Smartwatches help you track fitness performance and promote social interaction. You can compete with friends and family members for steps, miles, calories burned and other fitness metrics.
 
Tech that lets you try something new
Retirement is a time for R&R, but those entering in their golden years during the age of COVID might feel a bit stifled. Seniors can take charge of their mental health by trying new things virtually with their loved ones. Take an online cooking class with your next door neighbor and share your dishes in an appropriately socially distant way. Watch interesting documentaries with your adult children or young grandchildren while FaceTiming on your iPhone. Dust off your green thumb and text pictures of your new plants to your friends or members of your gardening club.
 
While some people think technology isolates us, through the global pandemic we are learning amazing new ways it can bring us together. These connections are different, but they don’t have to be eliminated all together. Staying social with technology during the COVID isolation can help seniors gain new skills, wider perspective and a strong sense of belonging. 


Information provided by Mary Shannon
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    Michelle Stewart-Sandusky

    I write articles based on my experience as a therapist or a training or conference attendee.  Many of these articles are written by others who are experts in their field and I share their information as resources for others.

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