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What is Your Relationship Attachment Style? Understanding the four adult relationship attachment styles
By Preston Ni M.S.B.A.
What is your interpersonal attachment style, and how might it affect your relationship? Based on the works of Bartholomew and Horowitz, etc., there are four adult attachment styles: Secure, Anxious-Preoccupied, Dismissive-Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant. Most people have various degrees of the four attachment styles, which may change over time.
Below are some of the most dominant traits of each type in relationships, with references from my book “7 Keys to Long-Term Relationship Success”.
Secure Attachment Style
Those with a strong Secure Attachment Style manifest at least a number of the following traits on a regular basis:
Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style
Those with a strong Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style tend to manifest at least several of the following traits on a regular basis:
Those with a strong Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment Style tend to manifest at least several of the following traits on a regular basis:
Those with a strong Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style tend to manifest at least several of the following traits on a regular basis:
Although those who are predominantly the Secure Attachment Style tend to make strong partners, it is also possible for those who are predominantly the other three styles to be in successful relationships. Self-awareness, mutual-support, mutual willingness to grow, and courage to seek professional help when needed are some of the crucial elements to positive relational development. The absence of these elements, however, may generate issues of incompatibility in relationship.
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I write articles based on my experience as a therapist or a training or conference attendee. Many of these articles are written by others who are experts in their field and I share their information as resources for others.